Living My Life, Vol. 1

The past couple of years, I've been leaning into my innate anarchism. Reading this book is part of my effort to understand how some early anarchists made their way in this country, fought for their values, and resisted political and social oppression. I picked up both volumes of Emma Goldman's Living My Life. This review is for volume one.

Let me start by saying: Emma Goldman was one bad bitch. Honestly, how did she go under my radar for so long? Oh, I know. Because she was (and is most likely still) considered a threat to the auspices of 'law and order' that keep powerful systems rife with disparity and exploitation in place. Once considered the most dangerous woman in America, Goldman lived her life fully in every moment, refusing to compromise her autonomy and devotion to the ideal that no human belongs 'over' another.

I wish every single person would read this book. Not because I think everyone will be converted to anarchism. Instead, I want people to understand in great detail what anarchism actually is.

Personally, I spent most of my life slightly afraid of anarchy. The first time I saw the symbol, it was scrawled on the notebook of one of the 'bad' kids in school. You know the type, always in trouble. The term was always defined for me as "lawlessness" and "chaos" by the media and the adults in my life. 

On the contrary, anarchism is the idea that people can and should live freely without top-down hierarchical power brokers deciding their fate.

To be fair, the idea of anarchism can be scary if you're the kind of person who feels insecure without having any authority telling you what to do, think, or believe. I know many people who genuinely believe that if it weren't for their religion or the rule of law, they wouldn't be able to govern themselves and be a 'good person'.

However, the more I read this book, the more I found that anarchism resonates with the person I've always been. As I read the words of this extraordinary woman, I found myself feeling not so alone in the world. It was like a massive part of me had finally been seen. A part of me that has always made me feel like an outsider. My heart swelled as I devoured this book.

Goldman came to the U.S. in 1886 at the age of seventeen after being raised in Russia in a home with an abusive father. She married early, then divorced, and spent the rest of her life in and out of relationships with men that she loved but with whom she did not 'make it official.' Her political positions on issues like racism, sexism, labor, and religion are ahead of her time.

Shit, they're ahead of our time:

On marriage: "'If ever I love a man again, I will give myself to him without being bound by the rabbi or the law,' I declared, "'and when that love dies, I will leave without permission.'"

On sex work: "I rebelled against the Christian hypocrisy which allowed the men to go free and sent the poor women to prison for having ministered to the sexual demands of those men."

On what a woman wants: "No amount of wardrobe could have given me so much joy as my precious little library."

On God: "I was opposed to the Catholic as to the other Churches. I considered them all alike, enemies of the people. They preached submission, and their God was the God of the rich and the mighty. I hated their God and would never make peace with him."

On family planning: "Still more impressed was I by the fierce, blind struggle of the women of the poor against frequent pregnancies. Most of them lived in continual dread of conception...Having a large brood of children, often many more than the weekly wage of the father could provide for, each additional child was a curse, 'a curse of God,' as orthodox Jewish and Irish Catholics repeatedly told me."

After becoming part of the Yiddish-speaking anarchist community, Goldman discovered her skill as an orator. She began to command crowds of people, and subsequently, the attention of the rich and powerful, who spent decades trying to bring her down. Regardless, she stayed focused on her work and looked for any opportunity - even her own public trial - to spread anarchist messages.

One of the most essential takeaways from this book is that it provides a glimpse into just how dire the situation was for the average worker, woman, and child during the turn of the century. It illustrates in great detail just how depraved power can be, how heartless and cruel unchecked capitalism is. At a time when many of our rights are being stripped away - after a century of work by leftists of all stripes - it would behoove us to take note and act now to prevent their further erosion.

Goldman was very clear that politics is not the way to solve most of the problems facing society. Leaving the solutions to our problems in the hands of those with the most money and power - and yes, folks, that is who holds political office in America - is a recipe for exploitation. Her narrative pulls no punches. She is unapologetic throughout the telling of her life story and is frank about her own missteps. Her words reflect both a fiery, passionate rebel and the tender heart of a woman without artifice who loved as intensely as she fought.

My request to you is this: read this book. Read it. You don't have to agree with everything in it, but if you don't see parallels to the conversations happening around the power imbalances we are facing today; and the infinite, sinister ways that those who hold the greatest amount of power protect their own interests and ruthlessly penalize the people who stand up to them, then I dunno. Maybe democracy isn't for you.